Today i cry

Today I cry for reasons that are still unknown to me,

For reasons I can fathom not they’re reasons I can’t see,

I can’t explain my passion or the sorrow or the fear,

It’s something in the power of the shedding of a tear.

It’s hard enough to fathom how can life be this way,

How on and on in spite of us it’s here most ev’ry day,

And day by day inside of us we battle with ourselves,

And daily we go living on within this private hell.

It’s therapy it’s ecstasy the way these tears fall down,

And daily I evaluate what this is all about.

I know it isn’t love I fear and it’s surely not the rain,

I think I know the problem here, I’m terrified of pain.

Not physical as you can see there’s ink that scars my skin,

But all the kinds of brutal pain that come from deep within,

They say you are the master of the way you truly feel,

But evidently they are not the ones who with this must deal.

I cannot accept this sorrow I do not invite these tears,

And yet somehow in spite of me I’ve been doing this for years,

I’m stronger than the average girl to hell and back I’ve been,

But this I cannot yet explain and I’m doing it again.

I challenge you o master of this tearful life,

To show me peace and happiness to pull from me this knife.

If there is somewhere in this world a solution or a cure,

I’d like to be the test subject for peace or calm or more,

I can’t stand that I am susceptible to such a nasty fight,

That I alone cannot control the way I feel tonight,

I don’t want to cry for you or anyone its true,

But I guess if I must cry I’m glad I cry for you.

I only think its BS how when things are fin’ly well,

I’m silently required to endure another hell,

So I guess it matters not to you that in most ways I am glad,

But for this one specific time I’m really rather sad.

I hate to say I feel this way it’s brutal and it’s wrong,

And yet it doesn’t seem to care that I know I’m truly strong,

How unfair of these emotions to take me by this storm,

I did not invite them here today it’s just out of the norm.

No, I hate it! I reject it! I want no part of this,

Just hold me till it goes away or steal it with a kiss,

I don’t care how you do it just help me to pull through,

Because in all reality I did all of this for you.